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Thursday, July 7, 2016

Lost in the bush!!!!!!

Blood, A Drop Of, Red, Blob
Gravestone, Grave, Cemetery ...
Blood, A Drop Of, Red, Blob

I’m in a bush I’m lost I can't find a way back to the car. I can hear the crunchy leaves against my feet.  
I can see the wiry tree branches  up above me hanging to try and get me. I can see the flax moving in the wind trying to grab my feet.I hear a voice call out to me she  said “lalalalalalalalala I’m going to get you” in a slow voice likennabelle she had blood as red as a pukekos beak dripping down her face like water going down your throat.Then I see the path to the way out but I don't know what way to go so I go right and I start to run because she is chasing me then I see a gravestone when I was running someone died there  then I started to get really scared.Then I see a broken chair it is in bits and pieces they were as broken as glass.Then I see beautiful white swans they are as white as the clouds in the sky.I turn around then I see a locked up gate now I'm trapped where am I going to go why is that gate locked.Is there something over there like a masion to pretect  it.That lady is still trying to get me.So I jumped the swamp and started running then I ran on the grass and the lady starts to get puffed.Then I jumped the swamp again and I started to run I follow the path the other way. Then I see my car I am relieved that I found my family.I can wait to get home to my bed.Im home and it is 7:30 pm and Im tierd I hope I dont have any nightmare.I wake up and Im fin Im glad that that is over and done with.
End
By Thalia
Walt write a descriptive piece of writing 

2 comments:

  1. Hello Talia
    Fabulous descriptive writing I really enjoyed your story, it is deeply detailed which makes it very interesting and makes the reader want to read more, Great writing.
    There is some things that you could improve on: You could improve on your spelling some words weren't whole words, Some words didn't have spaces between them which made the story confusing.
    Where did you get the inspiration for your story from?
    Yours Sincerely
    Jessie

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bula Bula Talia. My name is Ruby and I am from Mamaku 2.
    I really liked how your story was about being lost in the woods with someone creepy with blood and how you had red writing like blood.
    Next time you could have less writing.

    ReplyDelete

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