Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Its not a planet Its our home

Mercury-Atlas 5 Enos withReentry[edit]Screenshot 2016-06-15 at 12.40.05 PM.pngIt's not a planet It's our home

I'm in the dark  space I'm dreaming in my mind  I picture  the world  before I get back.I smell  the dirty spaceship
well I dream .I hear the  people talk in  my dream.I feel happy  in my dream .I taste  the  food that I eat  in my home.

I wake up  in space and I see the  colourful star  shining in the  dark  beautiful space .I smell the rusty  spaceship.I hear  the  rocket moving down to earth .I feel  still and stiff.Tasting the dusty spaceship only 52 hours and 20s ec nearly there ya.

I can see the bright sun  I squint and  then I see my home it is  bright green and  a beautiful dark blue sea  .I say to myself  i'm nearly there  I can't wait to see my mum,dad,sister,brothers.

I'm shaking my body is moving so fast.Im going throw the atmosphere  
I can see earth i'm nearly  there.

WALT  to use adjectives and punctuation.


  1. Te mutunga mai o te pai -Ultimately awesome! Your story really impressed me with the descriptive language, I could almost smell the dirty spaceship for myself. Did you get Google Read Write to read out your story? I find this helps me hear where I need to use comma's and fullstops. Great effort keep up the great work! Koia kei a koe

  2. KIA Ora Talia i really enjoyed looking at your story i think you put in a great effort and i enjoyed how you used great adjectives for some of your words.

  3. KIA Ora Tahlia

    I liked looking at your awesome story about IT NOT A PLANET, IT OUR HOME.
    You put lots of adjectives in your story and great effort put in.

    You can work on putting in more punctuation in your writing and story's.


Please structure your comments as follows:
Positive - Something done well
Thoughtful - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what they had to say
Helpful - Give some ideas for next time or Ask a question you want to know more about